Slow and Steady

Health and general update

Posted on: September 18, 2010

I’ve finally started counselling! I’m so happy because although it’s good to talk to your friends, I feel like a counsellor is seeing me for who I am now, instead of who I used to be. There are also things I just wouldn’t talk to my friends about.

I’m doing CBT this time and it’s very different to the counselling I’ve had before. It’s not just me sitting on a couch talking, it’s very interactive and he challenges me when I say something that sounds too negative. Saying that though, he listens and will accept I have a point. I get set homework some weeks.

It’s made me realise that I’m really not very nice to myself. I kept a thought diary and wow! I would never talk to my friends the way I talk to myself. I’m making a real effort now to be mindful of what I’m thinking.

He pointed out this week that when I’ve slept, I have much more positive attitude to when I don’t.  He said that when I’m tired, I’m really really negative, and so part of my homework for this week is to make 2 different types of sleep routines. One for normal everyday use, and the other for flare ups. After that flare up at work, I came home and slept, then got up in the night until daybreak, and then had to wake up to see him.

After thinking about it I’ve come up with an interesting discovery. For the past few weeks, I’ve not been able to use my laptop because the charger stopped working. I sent it back as it was under warranty, and they apparently sent one out and it didn’t turn up… I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

So the only time I could get online is when I went downstairs, which I don’t tend to do often, and my sister is usually on it anyway. I had a few flare up in that time, and all I could do was take my meds,  read or listen to this hypnosis mp3 I’ve got on my phone. I’d eventually get back to sleep in someway.

For the flare up that happened this week, I took my meds, and then went online. Now I wasn’t doing anything productive at all. Even though I took my meds, I still didn’t fall asleep quickly and I think it’s because I’m up using the computer. So for the next month, I’m going limit my laptop usage and see what difference it makes to my sleep pattern. I haven’t decided on a time yet, I’m going to have a play about and see what is the best for me.

The other part of my homework is to write a little bit each day of how I’m feeling, and how the day went, even if nothing in particular happened. I think I’ll do that, then turn off the lappy and start my evening routine.

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Swimming.

My instructor went away for the summer, and I went swimming twice a week for most weeks. She was very impressed with my progress when she came back. I feel a bit looser than before, and flare ups are happening less often which I’m pleased about.

My skin – My acne is definitely stress related. Up until Tuesday, it was clearing up really nicely. When I woke up after my flare up at work, I had a whole new set of spot. *kisses teeth*

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Teaching – I was a bit anxious about whether or not it had been worth me doing the teaching course because the awful flare up I had in the last few weeks of the course. I did find some voluntary work teaching English on a 1 to 1 basis. I seem to be the only one on my course that has used the qualification so far. The person I was teaching has gone off to college now, so I have a new person who can’t read at all! I’ve been reading up on teaching reading skills, and I’m excited yet very nervous.

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