Slow and Steady

Work update…

Posted on: September 18, 2010

So much has happened since the last time I’ve blogged. I’m back at work doing some light duties… Yes, that may come as a shock since I’ve been told my contract will be terminated, but as my Gran says, common sense isn’t common.

I think it’s a tickbox exercise for them, so they can say they’ve done everything they should under the DDA.

Personally, I’m using it to gauge what type of hours I’ll be able to do a week.

The section that I’m working in is quite nice. I find it interesting, but I like computers, and the job I’m doing involves being on a PC a lot. I’m doing something that I’ve never done before, I’m not engaging with the people I’m working with.

I’m doing this for a couple of reasons:

1) I’m not there to make friends.

2) My company is going through a restructure, and they are just looking for reasons to fire people. One wrong word and that’s it.

To be fair, they aren’t exactly trying to become my best friends either. They are professional, and have complimented me on my work as I’ve flagged up a few discrepancies that have gone unnoticed.

Something happened this week that solidified the way I’m thinking.

I had a flare up at work.

Now, I’m only doing 8 hours a week, and even though it’s not a lot by normal standards, it’s a lot for me. Even though I went to college, I had a ‘bed’ I could lie on when my back and neck were both hurting. Unfortunately it is not the case at work.

My back had been aching, so I was standing up and down in my usual yo-yo style. Then my neck started hurting so I took the cushion from my back, and  put it on the table to lay down on. Problem is, that put my back in a funny position. I decided to stay there though, because my neck was more painful than my back at that point.

So leaving time came, and I muttered my goodbyes, and started to make my way downstairs. By now my back was sore, and I was walking with my head hanging down because my neck was too tired to hold it up. Now as I’m walking my back is getting tighter, and I can feel the tears coming, and I’m  like ‘please let me just get to the lift’.

Of course that doesn’t happen, and I end up being taken downstairs in an office chair which has been turned into a makeshift wheelchair.

When I get home, I phone the office as promised, and the manager had already been on the phone to my manager! I thanked her for her concern and told her I’ll see her Monday. She didn’t sound very happy about it, and so I got myself into a bit of state that they were going to make me go sick. I haven’t heard anything from my manager though. So I’m going to leave it and see.

I’ve been so tired, and I was expecting to be, but not this much. I’ve had to cut my swimming out this week, but I need a break. I’ve started volunteering, and don’t want to give it up because it will be good for me to have the teaching experience on my CV.

——————————

When I woke up after crying myself to sleep, I was reminded of a woman I met when I was at the pain clinic. All she did in the week was work and sleep. At weekends, she’d go shopping early on Saturday morning, and then go back to bed.

I can now truly understand how that can happen, and I don’t want to live like that.

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