Slow and Steady

This and That…

Posted on: November 30, 2010

It’s chucking it down with snow outside. I was supposed to go to work today, but if I’m honest I was nervous about being driven in this weather, so I didn’t go in. I’m so happy that I popped into Lidl yesterday to pick up a few bits. It taught me something new as well.

My hands were really cold because after rooting around for gloves, I could only find the left hand for all 3 pairs of gloves I’ve got. I got a trolley for the support. After putting the things back in the car, I couldn’t bend my fingers to take the trolley coin out, and it ended up falling out and rolling under the trolleys. I’ve been having problems with my hands for a while now. I’ll wake in the morning, and if they are open, I have to rub them for ages to bend. If they are curled when I wake up, I have to pry them up slowly one by one.

Look like my local is definitely now the Sainsbury’s that has the buggys.

Have been doing a lot of work on my mind recently.  Been reading up on staying positive, and working through issues. It’s been quite cathartic and I’m definitely feeling a bit better mentally. I had a flare up last week, and I just stayed in bed, read and slept. No point getting annoyed. That is quite a big change for me.

I’ve also been very honest and have told people when I can’t manage. It seems to have stunned a few people. They are used to me struggling to manage, and saying yes when I should be saying no. It feels odd, and at times I’ve questioned myself – If I’m just being lazy, or whether or not they are going to speak to me after, but you know what? Fuck it. Those who know me, and know how stubborn I can be don’t question it, so anyone else shouldn’t matter really… Mmm, even as I write this, I feel a bit anxious. That mindset is going to take some getting used to.

Volunteering. I’ve given it up. I’m quite sad about it, but I think it’s right thing for me to do. For a start I’ve not been going swimming because I’m too sore/tired to go. I think cutting volunteering will hopefully free up some energy to let me go, I can feel the difference not swimming. It’s quite ironic because I wasn’t sure if it was helping.

Also, the organisation simply isn’t organised, and I found myself going there, and the students weren’t there, or they wouldn’t let me know the level I was teaching so I couldn’t prepare any work specific, and ended up making a whole load of worksheet for all ranges.I got a very sweet email from the co-ordinator who has told me I can come back at any time, and thanking me for the work I had done.

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