Slow and Steady

Posts Tagged ‘Goals

As I said in my Goals for 2011 the first thing I’m going to work on is my body.

I’m going to do Jay Robb’s fruit flush once a week for 12 weeks. I’ve uploaded the book here if you’re interested in trying it.

What you do: On day 1  drink a whey protein shake every 2 hours from 8am until 4pm. That is the only thing that you have. At 6pm you have a huge salad with some type of protein like chicken or fish.

Days 2&3 you do the same thing as day 1, except it’s with fruit. At six you have a massive salad with no meat, just a protein shake.

I ran into some problems finding whey protein powder that meets his tough criteria. I’ve done this before, but I was able to get his own brand protein very easily. The closet I could find in this country,  is called whey better, and it has no fat or carbs like all the others do. It is made from sweeteners though, but I’ll make do with this. It doesn’t taste too bad either.

This first week wasn’t too bad because I haven’t got my appetite back from being sick. The third day was the hardest because I went to my Mum’s Pastor’s funeral, and afterwards there was a sit down dinner. I did have a bit of a wobble, and took a piece of my sister’s macaroni cheese, but spat it out because I didn’t want to make the 3 days I had done to be in vain.

Since I’ve finished, I’ve just been eating fruit, and all my dinners have been quite small portions with half of it being mainly veg.

So far so good. Week 2 will be next week.

I’ve been trying to figure out what days would be good to do this weekly, because you’re not supposed to exercise while doing this. I’m thinking Monday – Wednesday, with some callenetics on Tuesday. I do my stretches regardless.


Have you made resolutions this year?

I’ve said that I don’t have any, mainly because resolutions, to me, are associated with things that never get done. I’ve got goals, goals that I will reach, and extend beyond the year. In a couple of positive living articles that I have read, they’ve talked about doing things one at a time, so you can give yourself and the goal the appropriate energy.

I agree as when I have tried to juggle, everything just dropped! I also think that when working lots of things, as you change your goals may change, so may not want to do something any more, but don’t want to stop because you’ve already put work into it.

Obviously there are things that need to be put into place and be worked on, like a budget and finding somewhere else to volunteer, but most of my energy will be focussed on the main goal.

This is probably no surprise, my first goal is my body.

I need to make my body as healthy as I can.

Food wise I’m going to use 3 day fruit flushes to get my weight down. The fruit flush I’m doing is devised by Jay Robb, and for the 1st day, you drink only protein shakes and in the evening you have a huge salad with a piece of protein. On days 2 and 3, you have fruit every 2 hours until the evening when you have a salad and a protein shake. I’ve done it before as one offs and it’s worked, I’ve lost about 7 pounds each time. What also usually happens is that afterwards I’d naturally add more veg to my plate.

In the book it’s suggested that you do this for 12 weeks for a weight loss program, it says that after the initial one where you can lose up to 9 pounds, you should lose about 2 pounds a week. Not much, but I think taking it slow is better anyway. I’m happy with doing it this way because I like the fact you eat a lot of fruit and veg. I don’t weigh myself, so I’m going to be using my clothes as a guide.

I’m also going to start taking turmeric as it’s an natural anti inflammatory which is good for the joints, and is also good for HS too. I can’t take normal ones any more as they affect my stomach.

I’m going to start body brushing. I have cellulite down to my knees. I’m not sure if it does work, but I have the body brush so why not try? Also, I’ve been reading articles on how not to look frumpy in flat shoes, and a few have suggested wearing a slightly shorter length skirt to give the appearance of a longer leg. I wouldn’t do that at the moment because I’m so conscious of it… Actually I did it on New Years Day, and I was uncomfortable.

Positive affirmations in the present. Things like “I am healthy and happy with my weight”. “I am happy that I fit into my old clothes”.

Try osteopathy -There’s a school not too far from my gran’s house. I’m going to get a friend to drop me as I think I may be sore after. This is going to be one of the last things I do, because I need to budget for it first.

Try to work out an exercise routine that fits in with work.

The next goal will be my phobia.

I have a phobia developed from my accident. I’ll be working on it with C.A.T. My psychiatrist recommended it to me, and I like the idea of this kind of therapy because there is a time limit on the sessions, and there’ll be a  goal. I prefer this than going somewhere every week and just talking and talking.

My next goal is work

By the time I get to this, I’ll probably have been sacked from my current job. I intend to start some volunteer work in teaching, and look for some part time work teaching after I leave the company I’m in. This is all I can say for this right now.

I am going to be setting financial goals, but they are basic. Save, save save.

The cough still hasn’t gone. It’s less painful in my back, and for that I’m very very thankful for.

The weekend was horrid. I couldn’t sleep for more than about 3 hours without waking up coughing. My mum had to help me out of the bed to get to the bathroom because I couldn’t do it alone. A friend of mine phoned me at about 6 in the morning after seeing my facebook status update, and I couldn’t even cry properly because it was so painful.

So where’s the positive bit? Well last week I decided that instead of trying to loose weight in the New Year, I wanted to get to my preferred weight before the New Year. I’ve got a dress I want to wear on New Years eve, and have it hanging on my wall as motivation.

I know I can’t exercise everyday, it hurts my back and neck, so have been contemplating different diets, and even fasting. I used to fast once a year before my accident.

I’ve been given a long term course of antibiotics as my HS (note, link may be TMI for some. You may not want to read it if you’re eating/have just eaten) has flared up again, and wanted to get some probiotics to replace the good bacteria the antibiotics will be killing.

I went to Holland and Barrett, and got talking to one of the employees about wanting to lose weight. She first suggested the most expensive thing of course, but when I refused she showed me Tonalin CLA,which I decided to buy. Here’s some information on it.

CLA is a newly recognised supplement derived from natural safflower oil. CLA or Conjugated Linolic Acid is found naturally in a variety of foods. Over the past decade, however, our changing dietary patterns have diminished those foods high in CLA content. Tonalin offers a rich source of conjugated linoleic acid from the oil of the safflower to supplement the diet naturally.

When you consume fat that your body does not need to use for energy, it is absorbed by fat cells with the help of an enzyme called lipoprotein lipase. CLA blocks this enzyme and diverts unused fat to your muscle cells. The CLA then activates another enzyme which helps your muscle to burn this fat, especially during exercise.

That’s why, when used in balance with a healthy diet and regular exercise program, Tonalin® CLA is so effective in helping you lose body fat, and keep it off.

Because it is so effective, Tonalin® CLA can also help eliminate the unhealthy “yo-yoing” pattern of losing and gaining weight. Clinical studies have proven that Tonalin® can prevent fat regain.

Since I’ve had this cough, my body doesn’t want food at all. Even tea is too much so I’ve just been drinking water. It’s like I’m fasting, and I’m loving it. It feels like my system is having a complete rest. I’ve been sleeping, reading, doing the very basic of stretches, and listening to music. When I try and have a conversation I end up in fits of coughs so I’m not answering my phone. I’m in my own little retreat. As I get better, I’m going to continue having just water, then increase my stretches. I think this is going to get me into my New Year’s eve dress!

I gave myself an angel card reading a few weeks back and turned the messages in screen savers. One in particular describes this situation perfectly.

I certainly didn’t expect to lose weight by having a cough!

Negative in positive. Loving it, and thanking God for making it possible.

It’s chucking it down with snow outside. I was supposed to go to work today, but if I’m honest I was nervous about being driven in this weather, so I didn’t go in. I’m so happy that I popped into Lidl yesterday to pick up a few bits. It taught me something new as well.

My hands were really cold because after rooting around for gloves, I could only find the left hand for all 3 pairs of gloves I’ve got. I got a trolley for the support. After putting the things back in the car, I couldn’t bend my fingers to take the trolley coin out, and it ended up falling out and rolling under the trolleys. I’ve been having problems with my hands for a while now. I’ll wake in the morning, and if they are open, I have to rub them for ages to bend. If they are curled when I wake up, I have to pry them up slowly one by one.

Look like my local is definitely now the Sainsbury’s that has the buggys.

Have been doing a lot of work on my mind recently.  Been reading up on staying positive, and working through issues. It’s been quite cathartic and I’m definitely feeling a bit better mentally. I had a flare up last week, and I just stayed in bed, read and slept. No point getting annoyed. That is quite a big change for me.

I’ve also been very honest and have told people when I can’t manage. It seems to have stunned a few people. They are used to me struggling to manage, and saying yes when I should be saying no. It feels odd, and at times I’ve questioned myself – If I’m just being lazy, or whether or not they are going to speak to me after, but you know what? Fuck it. Those who know me, and know how stubborn I can be don’t question it, so anyone else shouldn’t matter really… Mmm, even as I write this, I feel a bit anxious. That mindset is going to take some getting used to.

Volunteering. I’ve given it up. I’m quite sad about it, but I think it’s right thing for me to do. For a start I’ve not been going swimming because I’m too sore/tired to go. I think cutting volunteering will hopefully free up some energy to let me go, I can feel the difference not swimming. It’s quite ironic because I wasn’t sure if it was helping.

Also, the organisation simply isn’t organised, and I found myself going there, and the students weren’t there, or they wouldn’t let me know the level I was teaching so I couldn’t prepare any work specific, and ended up making a whole load of worksheet for all ranges.I got a very sweet email from the co-ordinator who has told me I can come back at any time, and thanking me for the work I had done.

I did a little tidy up today as my room was a mess. It’s very small, so it only takes one thing out of place, then it all goes wrong. I’ve been so tired, I haven’t opened letters, and had just piles of stuff everywhere.

Now it’s looking a bit better, my mind feels clearer. I’ve gone through the paperwork, put things back to where they are supposed to be and just doing that has made me feel a little better. I’ve written a to do list for tomorrow, and have sent off some emails that I should’ve responded to ages ago.

Once I clear out the rubbish and the cups and stuff from my little home-made dressing table, I’m sure I’ll feel even better.

I’m starting this week how I want it to continue!


That’s what my counsellor has said.

Well no actually, I’m slightly exaggerating (drama queen? Me? Never!)

He said I need to let myself grieve for the me who has gone.  Because even if I became pain free tomorrow,  life wouldn’t go back to how it was before. He’s right, it wouldn’t. I’m so scared of allowing myself to get upset, because honestly… I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying

I’ve been in pain since Wednesday. It didn’t help that the cab driver drove like an idiot all the way home on Wednesday.

I saw my doctor yesterday and begged him for help. Bless him, he’s not very good with tears, but he did his best and referred me to a rheumatologist, he doesn’t believe they’ll find anything though.

He said ‘you’re clutching at straws you know’. I asked him whether or not he’d clutch on straw after being in pain for 2.5 years, he didn’t answer, wrote out the referral and faxed it as well as sending it out by post.

He gave me more pills, and asked me loads of questions about my job, like if I get on with the people, and if the work is hard. I think that he was trying to see whether or not I’m making excuses to go back off sick.

I told him how much I was enjoying it, and showed him the text message I got from my manager there thanking me for my work.  He said that I’ve done really well to get myself back, and that I should keep trying at work as it’s only been 2 weeks.

I agree, I think I need to do it for about 4 weeks to make a proper assessment. I’m very concerned that I’ve stopped swimming because of this though. I don’t want my health to get worse for that company, as they sure as hell aren’t thinking of me.

It’s funny, all the time I’ve been questioning if swimming helps, and now I haven’t been, I’ve noticed that my body feels sore and tense. So it’s actually keeping me from feeling more pain. I know now that I’m not going in vain.

I’ve been doing callanetics, and it’s quite nice. It works some really deep muscles because when I did it one evening,(TMI coming up…) I nearly bought back up my dinner, and it was a good few hours after! I’ll be doing them on a empty stomach from now on.

I’ve finally started counselling! I’m so happy because although it’s good to talk to your friends, I feel like a counsellor is seeing me for who I am now, instead of who I used to be. There are also things I just wouldn’t talk to my friends about.

I’m doing CBT this time and it’s very different to the counselling I’ve had before. It’s not just me sitting on a couch talking, it’s very interactive and he challenges me when I say something that sounds too negative. Saying that though, he listens and will accept I have a point. I get set homework some weeks.

It’s made me realise that I’m really not very nice to myself. I kept a thought diary and wow! I would never talk to my friends the way I talk to myself. I’m making a real effort now to be mindful of what I’m thinking.

He pointed out this week that when I’ve slept, I have much more positive attitude to when I don’t.  He said that when I’m tired, I’m really really negative, and so part of my homework for this week is to make 2 different types of sleep routines. One for normal everyday use, and the other for flare ups. After that flare up at work, I came home and slept, then got up in the night until daybreak, and then had to wake up to see him.

After thinking about it I’ve come up with an interesting discovery. For the past few weeks, I’ve not been able to use my laptop because the charger stopped working. I sent it back as it was under warranty, and they apparently sent one out and it didn’t turn up… I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

So the only time I could get online is when I went downstairs, which I don’t tend to do often, and my sister is usually on it anyway. I had a few flare up in that time, and all I could do was take my meds,  read or listen to this hypnosis mp3 I’ve got on my phone. I’d eventually get back to sleep in someway.

For the flare up that happened this week, I took my meds, and then went online. Now I wasn’t doing anything productive at all. Even though I took my meds, I still didn’t fall asleep quickly and I think it’s because I’m up using the computer. So for the next month, I’m going limit my laptop usage and see what difference it makes to my sleep pattern. I haven’t decided on a time yet, I’m going to have a play about and see what is the best for me.

The other part of my homework is to write a little bit each day of how I’m feeling, and how the day went, even if nothing in particular happened. I think I’ll do that, then turn off the lappy and start my evening routine.



My instructor went away for the summer, and I went swimming twice a week for most weeks. She was very impressed with my progress when she came back. I feel a bit looser than before, and flare ups are happening less often which I’m pleased about.

My skin – My acne is definitely stress related. Up until Tuesday, it was clearing up really nicely. When I woke up after my flare up at work, I had a whole new set of spot. *kisses teeth*


Teaching – I was a bit anxious about whether or not it had been worth me doing the teaching course because the awful flare up I had in the last few weeks of the course. I did find some voluntary work teaching English on a 1 to 1 basis. I seem to be the only one on my course that has used the qualification so far. The person I was teaching has gone off to college now, so I have a new person who can’t read at all! I’ve been reading up on teaching reading skills, and I’m excited yet very nervous.