Slow and Steady

Posts Tagged ‘Rant

I went to the Aztec Centre today. The website says

The Aztec Centre in Croydon has the largest selection of assisted living and mobility aids in the area.


I went there to get a stick with a stool. When I’m walking I tend to stop a lot because it hurts my back. I tend to lean forward to stretch my back. I thought having a stick with a stool would be handy. When I get to the centre, there is a young lady who was very friendly and came to help me straight away.

Then it all went a bit wrong.

She showed me the 2 styles of stool sticks they stock and told me quite bluntly that they were both rubbish and a waste of money.  I appreciate her honesty, but I couldn’t help but be upset. I didn’t say anything to her because it’s not her fault, she’s just selling them.

Truthfully though, I did cuss her out on the way home in my car. I thought that if she knows a product is crap, why isn’t she reporting it and getting something done?

Then I remembered the amount of times I used to complain about products at my old workplace that were rubbish, and the powers that be never responded.

This pisses me off though. This place is The largest selection of assisted living and mobility aids in the area.

Yet they have only 2 styles, and each of them are rubbish? Fix the fuck up.

I know I can buy it online, but there are things that you do need to see. If I had bought either one of those sticks online, they would have both needed to be sent back. That is not always free. Also, lets remember a lot of the people who need these aids may be elderly and not have computer access.

On one, the actual stick on one wasn’t wide enough  have a solid base. It was more of a long umbrella width than a stick. The other seat was low, made from elastic, and hard to get up off.

I know everyone’s conditions are different but I honestly don’t know who would find those helpful. The assistant knows that they are not helpful. So do something about it.

I’m going to send this post to their customer service department. Will anything change? Who knows, but at least I know I tried.

This, coupled with the wheelchair scenario and the fact my room still hasn’t been hoovered over 10 days later has left me in a  bad state today.

Bed time for me.


My cousin died from cancer recently. She was 34 and has left 2 amazing children behind.

In Jamaican tradition, we support loved ones left behind by bringing food, and celebrating the life of someone that has passed for the 1st 9 days culminating in a huge party on the 9th night. I’ve got my own thoughts on that tradition, but will leave it for the moment.

Now if this had happened before my accident here are the things I would’ve been doing.

  • Picking up the members of the family who don’t drive to bring them down to my Aunty’s house.
  • Making food and buying drinks for the house.
  • Offering food and drinks to guests.
  • Taking my Aunty where she needs to go to get things organised.

That is who I am. In my family that is my role, and while it can be a bit annoying at times, I enjoy it. It makes me happy to help. I feel so lost now that I cannot do these things. It feels like my ID has been taken away, and I don’t know myself any more.  Here’s a text I wrote to my cousin in frustration this week

I hate feeling so bloody useless. Only going to bed now (4am) because the mixer stopped working and as I had already weighed everything out I decided to carry on without it. It all looks and taste awful. I can’t help out financially, I can’t help serve food and drinks, now I can’t even bake without a fucking mixer. What exactly is the point of me being here?

I know it’s about accepting who I am now. It’s just seems like whenever I finally do get acceptance in one area of my life, something else happens in another area so I have to start the whole process again. I’m getting very pissed off with it now. When do the lessons stop?

My course is over… Well, I have one more lesson, but it’s just a lecture and it’s half day.

I am so proud of myself. I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was some weeks, and the amount of times I left the room to cry in the toilets because of pain. The days I dragged myself in and laid on the ‘bed’ they had made for me while listening to the lectures. The amount of times my Dad told me to quit because it was too much.

Not only have I finished, I’ve been awarded with a certificate of exemplary performance. Here is what my tutors wrote:

We were asked to nominate a student who has been exemplary. We chose you because you have never taught before, but have done really well on the course in terms of your level of commitment and the work you have put in despite your disability, your attitude to learning, your achievement and the way you have collaborated with colleagues.

Which moves me on to a worry I’ve got. Employment.

A couple of weeks back, it was my last teaching lesson and it was tied up to an assignment.

The assignment was me choosing a piece of ‘authentic’ material, planning a lesson around it, saying why I chose it and what I hope the students will learn. By authentic they mean not something that has not been changed to make it easier to understand for people learning English.

The assignment had to be handed in to before the lesson. Now because I was teaching directly after the half term, my tutor (lets call her Jane) told me that I could have the half term, as everyone else would, but that I needed to let her see it the day before so she could mark it, and see if there is anything wrong.

I was told by Jane I could do it a certain way, and planned the whole lesson in that way. Now the day before the lesson, Jane wasn’t in in the morning, so I saw the other one (lets call her Jemma). She proceeded to tell me that it was all wrong and I needed to start again.

In hindsight, I didn’t tell her that Jane had OKed it, I was just trying to get my head around the fact that I had to start the assignment from scratch as well as the lesson. I got to work, and I was in college ALL DAY.

In the afternoon, I showed the first part of the assignment and lesson plan to Jane, who said it was fine, but didn’t understand why I had decided to change at such a late stage. I told her it was because Jemma said it was wrong. She looked confused, but then covered it saying OK, if Jemma said so then it had to be done.

The next day I taught the lesson. I wasn’t 100% happy with it, but my colleagues raved about it, as did the students and the tutors. Jemma apologised for making me re-do everything and said if she had known Jane had OKed it, she would have let it pass even though it was wrong, as it was Jane’s mistake not mine. So what’s the problem I hear you wonder?

I was in college the day before the lesson from about 10.30am to 6pm.

The day of teaching I was there from 9am-5pm. Now after I finished teaching at 11.30, I laid down for the rest of the day. The day after I couldn’t move. I was in so much pain I cancelled everything that week from swimming to doctor appointments.

One of my class mates text me about a job going she thought I should apply for, so I had a look, and when I looked at the hours per week I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So I went on a few TEFL sites, and I really don’t think I’m going to be able to get employed in the physical condition that I am in.

I’m trying to stay positive, and have looked at doing some voluntary work so I can have experience on my CV, but I am upset that I may not be able to use something that I’ve worked so hard for.

It feels like everytime I attempt to make a step forward, I get pushed back, and it’s really pissing me off.

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I want to go home. I’ve looked at every single way to do so, and all of them involve selling my house.

After the research I’ve done, I realised that I made a mistake moving out. If I was in there in arrears, fucking up the credit report I worked hard to repair, I would be entitled to help.

Because I decided to do something that any honest person would do, move out so I don’t get into debt, I’ve thrown myself into a deep rut.

Oh, and I’ve stopped getting paid this benefit. I phoned them to find out what is happening and they’ve said that I should get a decision in the next fortnight. So I’m now going to have to live the next two weeks on credit.

I can’t tell you how much it’s going to hurt me that I’m going to end up messing up my credit and not living at home.

Ah well. Coulda woulda shoulda.

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… Until I never have to use this nonsense that they call a netbook again!

I got an email back from the company that I got the mirror/laptop from. They will refund me the money for my laptop minus postage and some other charge.

As soon I get confirmation that the one I’m buying is a matte screen, I’ll be ordering. I really want that to be tomorrow so it can come on Thursday.

I hate this stupid netbook thing with a passion. I just wrote a long email and with one click it just disappeared. Yahoo mail is in my bad books too as I went straight into the draft folder to try and get a copy of the autosave draft and as I clicked it, it updated to the empty email.

Not impressed.

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I decided to make use of an old tmobile phone I’ve got lying around. I’ve started online dating (I’ll blog about that another day) and wanted to have another number just to be on the safe side.

I went on to the T-mobile website and saw this: A free sim and if I topped up £20 I’d get 300 minutes and unlimited texts. I thought great! So it came through the post last week, the letter that came with it said exactly the same. I put on £20 and went on my way.

I also saw this
All numbers prefixed by (inc VAT):
Prefixed number Cost of call 0843, 0844, 0845 ,0870, 0871, 0872 40p per message 0808, 0800 Call charges from free to 40p per minute 0500 10p per minute 070 From 25p to 75p per minute All chargeable calls will be subject to a one minute minimum charge unless otherwise stated.

My doctors surgery has an 0844 number, and I have to deal with them and a lot of local numbers at the moment. I thought this sim would help keep the costs down.

I checked my credit today and it’s nearly gone. I’ve made 2 calls to other networks and 1 call to my doctor.

So I speak to an operator, who proceeds to tell me I’m wrong and the 0844 number is 40p a minute.
She also tells me that I had to text a code before I topped up.

Nowhere on the letter that came with the sim card said that. All it says is top up £20 for unlimited texts and 300 minutes. No small print hiding it anywhere.

She kept telling me I’m wrong and I could feel myself about to blow, so I asked for the unlocking code of my phone. She said £15.

I said no it’s out of contract, it’s been out of contract for years. I told her I know they send codes out and she told me I was wrong, that it’s never been done.

I thanked her for reminding me why I left tmobile, went on to MSE, found the address to get the unlocking code (and people actually received it, so much for it never being done!) and sent it off. I got a letter back saying there is no unlocking code for my phone.

I am thinking about writing a complaint letter, because the advertising is wrong.

In the meantime though, I’ve found that Asda do a PAYG tariff that is 8p calls and 4p texts. The problem is there is no prices for 0845/0870 numbers on their site.
While searching online, it seems that people are being told different information when they ring customer service, some say it’s 8p, some say it’s 35p.
Asda and T-Mobile take note.
I’ve ordered this, and will take my old phone to a shop to see if it can be unlocked. I suppose I could buy a cheapie, but the phone is a pda and is handy for checking emails etc when I’m in a flare up.


I use my supermarket very often, and I find it a very handy tool usually.

Today however, I’m not happy with it at all.

I entered all the items I wanted to buy into my ‘trolley,’ and saw that Tesco was the cheapest for my shopping this week. They had a large pineapple for a £1. I don’t really like the fresh fruit and veg from Tesco, but the pineapples are usually nice. I decided that as I was going to Tesco, I’d get the rest of my shopping there too.

So off I went to Tesco and when I got there, the pineapples weren’t on offer! I was told that the offer finished yesterday. As I was there, I decided to just continue with my shopping, however they didn’t have a lot of the things on my list.

My Supermarket asks for your postcode, so they can check the stock in your local supermarket. It obviously didn’t work today!

When I got home, I looked in my ‘virtual’ trolley to make sure I wasn’t going crazy. The pineapple was still there for £1, however when I refreshed the page it was back at it’s normal price. That meant that Sainsburys was actually cheaper and I paid a bit more for my groceries than I needed to, and I don’t have all the items I want!

It obviously updates itself in the afternoon sometime, so I’ll need to remember that when I go shopping.

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